An Untraditional Holiday

I'm noticing more and more how untraditional my life has become. Moreso over the last five years with the rocketing advance of technology. Some of the changes have been undeniably good, others, not so much. But, that's another post.

This Thanksgiving, my husband took the kids to my parent's house for the long weekend. Because the last two holiday's with my family have been increasingly stressful (personality clashes among in-laws) and because my husband's been gone quite a bit (as is typical between fire season and union duties), I needed a break. I didn't want them to go without me, but neither did I want to accompany them. When I suggested staying home for the holiday, my oldest gave me those pained eyes and said, "But I want a "real" Thanksgiving. Grandma always has all that good food, and I just want to pig out."

A "real" thanksgiving. Which meant she wouldn't get one from me because I rarely (very, very rarely) cook. But also because I think she knows that I have so much to do around the house, that it would be a working holiday, not a fun holiday.

I know I should feel guilty for not providing my family with a more traditional Thanksgiving like I had as a kid. Should probably be at least slightly offended. Maybe I am. A little. But evidently not enough to change my ways. Not yet. I'll consider it again next year.

This Thanksgiving, I split my days between revising my Golden Heart entries and cleaning out my master closet. Between getting 90% of my Christmas shopping done and playing financial wizard to afford said Christmas shopping. Between printing and packaging my Golden Heart entries and loads of laundry. Dinner consisted of a bowl of Frosted Flakes.

Not altogether great, but it could have been worse. My kids and my husband had a good time with my family, and I got caught up on the things that would have stressed me out upon return if I'd gone with them. Not being nagged about "I want..." or "Can we..." or "Please..." didn't hurt at all.

And at the end of the day, traditional Thanksgiving or not, my humbling gratitude for all I have didn't change.

What type of untraditional holiday's have you had? What was your holiday like this year?

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Submission Watch

I think everyone is clearing off their desks before the holiday...cause I'm wracking up the rejections. And it's ever so much easier to use that as an excuse. Although, I have to say, the rejections this time around are a whole lot more positive than they were two years ago when I was doing this.

But, a rejection is a rejection. And, when I'm down in one area, I pick up in another to offset the negative atmosphere.

So...my latest endeavor (along with polishing my entries for the GH, continuing in Karin Tabke's first line contest, attending plotting workshops and moving forward with my new WIP) has been corraling fantastic instructors for online classes through my new RWA Chapter-Wine Country Romance Writers. We've really got a killer line up for 2008 and into 2009. Hope you'll be able to join us for a few.

And if there is something specific you'd like to take a class on, but can't find it anywhere, let me know. I'm always open to new ideas.

Have a safe holiday.

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The Language Women Speak

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shutup.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes isonly five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch thegame before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on yourtoes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but it's a non-verbal statement often misunderstood bymen. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she iswasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Referback to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okaymeans she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you willpay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

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Strange not-quite rejection

I guess I think it's strange (or rather funny-strange) because I'm a pretty easy-going, difficult to offend, live-and-let-live sort of person. Obviously there are many who aren't...

Anyway, as you know (via my submission watch) I've been submitting to agents--a manuscript that I've never sent out.

Today I get an envelope with my familiar sticker (the one I put on my SASEs) and read the return address -- one of the higher tiered agents. Oh, dang, I thought -- another R. (Cause we all know if they really wanted to read the ms, they'd email or call.) But I open it and it's the first page of my manuscript with the first word circled and a handwritten note.

Okay, so these are the first few lines of my ms:

"Jesus!"

Reflectors rumbled beneath the tires and jolted Cassandra Christo out of her road trance. With a quick turn of her wrist, she realigned the BMW coupe into the middle of the lane.

Cassie exhaled a shaky breath, peeled her shoulder from the seat and lowered the window...

The agent circled, "Jesus!" And wrote: A lot of editors/readers are Christians--it's best not to offend the reader audience. Choose a different curse word then resubmit.

Resubmit? Wow, she must have liked the writing to ask me to resubmit after I'd offended her. And, yes, I know I offended her because after thinking about it, I remember reading that this particular editor is quite religious. But, heck, honestly, if that bothered her...I venture to say the rest of my work will really tweak her.

Still, she has a good point. Just because I'm so easy-going and not-easily offended doesn't mean others aren't--regardless of whether I was being careless (which I wasn't) or just ignorant (which I was).

I've been thinking about this subject a lot because I tend to use the Lord's name in vain in my dialogue. I also swear in my dialogue. I also have sex and violence in my books. Those are realities for my characters. (And to some degree for me--the swearing part at least.)

I was raised Catholic, I have (what I consider) a very strong spiritual relationship with God. I don't know how or why I compartmentalize, but I don't believe that those elements of my writing make me a bad person or even a bad "follower". It's just fiction.

But my previous agent wanted me to cut out some references to God in dialogue (not necessarily used in a negative way) because she said that a lot of people have strong feelings about God one way or the other and it's safer just to leave it out.

I was okay with that. But now, I'm writing another book where both my characters have a certain level of spirituality lingering from their childhood and I want to bring that into the story, but I've been putting it off because I don't want to offend. Another issue I've been tip-toeing around in this book is racism--white/Hispanic. Again, do I bring it out so it fits the characters, or do I push it to the background so I don't offend?

I don't know the answer. But I have decided to write this ms with the deepest characters possible, which means including both the religion and the racism. Hope it doesn't backfire on me.

What do you think about religious references in fiction?

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Submission Watch

Things are a bit slow. Typically, right after I send a Q or partial out, I get answers within a few days -- either Rs (majority) or, "Would like to see more."

Now, 3-4 weeks after sending the initial Qs and a few follow-up partials, I'm...yep, you got it...waiting.

It's been vewy, vewy quiet.

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A Good Reminder

At Magical Musings today, their guest blogger, Jennifer Estep, said something that was a very good reminder for me.

She said:

Write the best darn book you can. It may be a cliché, but it’s true. I always get a bit depressed every time I read J.K. Rowling, Robin McKinley, or Donald Westlake. Because there’s no way I could ever possibly write anything as magical, beautiful, or funny as them. I can only write the stories in my head the best way I know how – and that’s enough. It’s got to be, since I don’t want to take an express trip to the funny farm. Do your best, then push yourself to do a little better, give a little more. That’s all you can do.

I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who gets a little down when I read fantastic prose or a riveting, non-stop plot, or deep, unique characters. And it never hurts to be reminded that you are as unique as the next person and that if you keep working at it, learning and growing as a writer, you'll get there.

J.K. Rowling was once where I am now. That's a strong reminder.

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NaNoWriMo

I just have to say...that is the strangest name. Couldn't we writers come up with something more creative, more interesting...more appealing?

Anyway, I've never done NaNoWriMo or BIAW (book in a week) or any other guided writing. In fact, when Elisabeth decided we were doing 1000 words/day for 100 days, I joined in, but then bottomed out after, what E...six days? I guess the good thing is that I made it that long, and I'm still writing, now up to 60k.

But my schedule just won't allow me to sit down and write 2000+ words a day. I've got two jobs, two very busy kids, .33 of a husband...etc., etc.

The big question -- excuses or realities? I'm not too proud to admit some could be excuses, but I'm also not naive enough to deny the realities of everyday life, either.

How do writers who are not paid full time writers (that's rather key here--if I was a full time writer, that's what I'd do...write), but work another job (or two) with kids at home and no nannies and housekeepers, write 2000 words a day?

I'd love to hear your methods, whether you're doing NaNoWriMo or not!

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