Searching for Substance

I'm still musing over the Art rewrites. I want to have it ready in the off chance a request for more than 25 pages comes through via the Daphne finals, although I realize its a long shot. But I figure, even if no request is made, the revisions have to be made.

I've been over and over this ms, trying to figure out why it feels so...flat, so...superficial. I think I've identified the reason, or part of the reason, but I haven't discovered a way to fix the problem.

In past manuscripts, I've uncovered depth by digging into my characters, discovering the worst possible thing that could happen to them, take it one step further, give it a twist, then throw the life-altering grenade into the ring.

A few of those little beauties have helped in this manuscript, but its still missing something. It needs substance. It needs a deeper universal appeal.

It needs teeth.

Where do you find that essential grip for your stories?

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Conflict

In real life, I avoid conflict at almost every turn. Arguments or disagreements that become heated make me uncomfortable. I especially dislike confrontations where one person is shown up in front of others and there is no way for them to back down without looking foolish. What can I say? I'm the empathetic sort, and I hate to feel like an idiot...especially in front of other people. So when others are made to feel that way, even if they walked right into it, I feel ashamed for them.

I was watching Beach Patrol on Court TV recently--a show covering a big regatta in Florida where marine police had to confront drunk and belligerent people. Of course, in that situation it's always in front of a lot of other people.

At one point, the cop was getting pretty pissed off at an idiot boater, and I found myself uncomfortable and eventually turned the channel.

Then it occurred to me...what a great way to observe personalities, the way different people handle conflict, body language, dialogue, procedure. So, I turned it back and watched another few hours of it. A learning experience to be sure.

Where do you find windows into conflict?

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A.W.O.L.

I've been scarce lately. No particular reason other than...life. I find that sometimes I'll have writing related thoughts and topics to discuss several times a day, and sometimes I won't have any decent things to write about for a week. Do your writing-related musings fluctuate?

Another reason I've been off-line is that it's summer, and that's always difficult for me--kids are out of school and involved in camps and other activities and DH is off fighting fires. Are your summers more difficult than the rest of your year or more relaxing?

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Finished

Just put the final touches on Safe, thanks to Elisabeth and Linda combing throught the latest edits. (Thanks, girls! You're the best!)

The ms is off to my agent to see what she thinks...and we go from there.

As for what's next...I don't know. I'm playing a little with The Art of Danger--a completed manuscript that finalled in the 2007 Daphne...in case the final judges are interested in seeing more. But, in the event that doesn't happen, I will probably shelve Art and work on something else.

How do you decide what project to work on next?

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Out of the Loop

It's amazing how fast it can happen.

I've been traveling this week--no where exciting. Up to my parents for a metalsmithing class and then to our cabin to clean and organize and refurbish in order to put it on the market. But I've had little time on the net and it's amazing how disconnected I start to feel after just a few days.

I got my crits back for the revisions of Safe from my CPs Elisabeth and Linda (thanks bunches girls) and will be making those changes tomorrow and sending to my agent on Monday to see what she thinks. Which will ultimately determine whether or not this manuscript gets out to publishers before or after Dead August.

How long can you go without internet access before you feel disconnected?

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Psychopaths

They've been on my mind lately as I saw Mr. Brooks the other day and then listened to Ann Rule's book The Stranger Beside Me which talks about her friendship with Ted Bundy.

Psychopaths/Sociopaths intrigue me mainly because even after studying the psychology behind the defect/condition/whatever, and reading/watching depictions of psychopaths, I don't understand them. I don't understand how they can lack some emotions and not others. I don't understand how they can possibly lack all emotion. And I don't understand how, if they lack some emotions, how that affect the ones that are left, because emotion typically comes in either opposite pairs (i.e. happiness your daughter is going off to college/sadness you're losing her), or in clumps (i.e. anger gives way to sadness gives way to despair or guilt).

For example, the psychopath Mr. Brooks (good movie btw) clearly experiences emotion over his fear for his daughter when he believes he's passed his "illness" onto her. He obviously feels a great deal of love for both his wife and daughter. Yet, he experiences no emotion when murdering someone. In fact, he gets a supreme rush from it.

So, I guess what I can't get a grasp on when it comes to psychopaths, is the complex levels of emotion (or lack of emotion) they can encompass.

I was disappointed with Ann Rule's book. After seeing Mr. Brooks and having my curiosity peaked again, I thought I'd found a window by which I could further understand the psychopathic mind. But what I got was a time line. An account of the murders and of the police investigation around the murders...no insight into Ted Bundy's mind. Sure, I could infer ideas and possibilities from the occurrences, but I don't want to infer. I want someone who is education and knowledgeable on the facts to describe and explain.

And before you make the suggestion, I've read several books on the subject, including Hare's The Disturbing World of Psychopaths Among Us (GREAT book). But I might try The Sociopath Next Door -- I'd heard that was good, too.

Any comments on psychopaths or sociopaths?

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Believe It Or Not

Today's crime: Absurdity. They need more criminal activity in Chelsea, Vermont to keep those cops busy.

*****

Charges dismissed against N.H. woman who made faces at police dog [source]

CHELSEA, Vt. - A prosecutor dropped charges against a woman who was arrested for staring at and making faces at a police dog. After all, the prosecutor reasoned, the four-legged witness can’t testify.

Jayna Hutchinson was about to go on trial this week on charges of cruelty to a police animal and resisting arrest, but the case was dropped Tuesday.

“I think it was going to be difficult to prove her conduct changed the dog’s behavior,” Orange County State’s Attorney Will Porter said. “Most of the time (in harassment cases) people would come tell the court what it felt like. Dogs can’t do that.”

Hutchinson, 33, of Lebanon, N.H., was charged in July when police were called to a market to investigate a report of a brawl.

They were approached by Hutchinson, who said she had been assaulted the day before by one of the men involved and wanted to make a statement. Vermont State Police Sgt. Todd Protzman told her she seemed drunk and he would take a statement from her later.

After a heated exchange, she approached Protzman’s cruiser, where his dog, Max, was waiting. She put her face within inches of the window and stared at Max “in a taunting/harassing manner,” Protzman wrote in an affidavit.

Officers arrested Hutchinson, adding a resisting arrest charge because she pulled away from them.

“Prosecuting a woman for ‘staring’ at a police dog is absurd,” said her lawyer, public defender Kelly Green. “People are allowed to make faces at police dogs and officers to express their disapproval. It’s constitutional expression.”

Without the cruelty charge, jurors would be unlikely to convict her on the resisting arrest count, Porter said.

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Believe It Or Not

Today's crime: Stupidity.

***

Woman turns self in for bank robbery, asks for reward
By Agent McKay

Courtesy of WWAY Channel 3

ONSLOW COUNTY -- A bizarre request Monday morning at the Onslow County Sheriff's Office.

Lolita Bullock turned herself in for robbing the Bank of America in Jacksonville on May 4. But she also wanted to cash in on a reward being offered in the case.

Lolita brought a friend with her to the Sheriff's office to claim the reward money.

It will be up to Crime Stoppers to decide if her friend deserves the reward.

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Lockdown Part 2

Carlos pulls a giggling Vanessa over the threshold by the hand and slams it shut behind him. She jumps a little. Her big eyes pop open in surprise and her hand splays over her chest. "Oh, quierda. You scared me."

Leaning back against the heavily carved front door to his bungalow, Carlos braces Vanessa's small waist between his hands and tugs her between his thighs. Their hips bump, meet and settle into the fit. He's already hard beneath his jeans and the friction shoots a sizzle of excitment to his brain, or brains--both big and little. "Sorry. You make me lose my head."

He chuckles at his own joke, until her warm, soft chest cuddles up to his. Those dark, dark eyes of hers stare up through lashes as thick as bangs and Carlos' chest squeezes hard. He skims the back of his knuckles over her high cheekbone, memorizing her face, the look of hero worship in her eyes.

Is this how Rio feels when Cassie looks at him?

Maybe The Basement is worth the sacrifices of a hero.

Vanessa stretches up Carlos' body, and the pressure makes him suck in a breath. Then she takes his lower lip between her teeth, holds it there gently, while intense, seductive eyes lock on his.

The phone at Carlos' waistband vibrates. Vanessa jumps, leans back and looks down at it.

"Christ," Carlos mutters. "What now?" Without releasing her, he flips the phone open. "She'd better not have let him out of there already or I might start acting up."

Where the hell are you? the text reads.

Tension escapes Carlos' shoulders as he closes the phone and tosses it on a nearby chair, hands firm on Vanessa's waist again.

"Trouble?" she asks.

"No, quierda." Carlos dips his head to kiss her, long and slow. She tastes like tropical fruit and woman. Sweet and wild. "No trouble."

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Lockdown

While the here is away, the secondary characters will play.

***

Carlos drags up a stool at Hussongs' bar and eyes that darling waitress he comes in here to see. One look at Vanessa and his day is made.

"Hola, quierda," she says with a hand on his shoulder and that smile that could melt steel. "What can I get you?"

He wraps her fingers in his and lifts her hand to his mouth. "Are we talking personally or professionally here?"

Her black eyes spark. She laughs, soft and a little shy, then darts a look at the back door. "Your friend, he's coming, no?"

Carlos's shoulders sink. Yeah. Rio is on his way. Dammit, Carlos isn't even the frigging hero in this story, yet he gives up just as much as Rio, but doesn't get the billing of hero.

She better give him his own book, that's all he could say.

"Si," Carlos breathed against her hand. "He'll be here soon."

Her fingers slip from his and skim his jaw, caress the edge of his ear. Shivers tickle his neck, his head tips into her touch.

His cell vibrates. "Goddammit."

He snaps it off his belt as Vanessa grins, lifts a shoulder in an oh-well gesture and sashays toward the other end of the bar.

Carlos looks at the screen. "This had better be good."

Tick Calvert here. I'm texting on behalf of Rio. Seems he has no cell connection through cinder block walls. That's what happens when you use substandard service like Altel. Save a few bucks, lose service. I'm sure that's the best ICE could afford, Homeland Security being under public scrutiny and all. Y'all come over to the Feds and get Verizon and a Blackberry. Now thems digs. Anyway, he says to tell you to get your sorry ass over here and get him out. I second the motion. He's a wet blanket.

Carlos frowns. Reads the message again. A tingle stirs in his chest, and with it a low chuckle. Within seconds, Carlos is slapping his knee, howling with laughter.

"That is one part of being a hero I'm not missing." When he catches his breath, he finds Vanessa looking at him with wide eyes, confused. He stuffs his phone away and waves her over. "Come here, quierda. the way She works, we've got lots of time together."

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Layering

It's all the rage...just as my 15yo daughter. But, of course, here I'm not talking about fashion.

Linda first introduced me to the concept of layering, oh, seems like years ago. Oh. Okay. It was years ago. (How frightening is that?)

She'd talk about "layering in emotion", "layering in senses", "layering in conflict", layering in backstory"... you get the picture. And, while I cyber-nodded as if I understood, I was sitting behind my computer screen with my head cocked wondering what the hell she meant by that. (But you knew that, didn't you, Lin?)

It didn't take long to understand how revision spotlights those areas of your ms that aren't quite developed or are ripe for additional information that can tie in somewhere else in the story to make it richer as a whole.

Coincidentally, Linda has blogged on revisions over at Romance Worth Killing For today, so head over and check it out.

Now I layer all the time. With every pass my eyes make over the page, I layer.

But in those instances, I'm adding layers.

When it comes to my characters, every revision uncovers another layer of their identity.

I try, try, try to get to know my characters--I do character sheets, questionnaires, backstory, childhood history. I produce GMC charts for all main characters including the villain and typically for a couple of key secondary characters. I develop conflict and GMC from the heart of each character. When I'm in a character's pov, I try, try, try to be in their head, seeing from their eyes, feeling from their body, thinking from their brain.

I slip constantly and find myself back on the outside looking in. Have to regroup, reposition and go at it again.

But I've noticed that when it comes to characters, the biggest opportunity to get closer to them is during revision. With each change, they inch closer to reality, take on another unique characteristic. Even though I'm, admittedly, not a fan of revisions, I have to admit that if there's one thing I love about them is the way my characters come to life, little by little. And by the time I've revised the hell out of a manuscript, I've come to know my h/h/v like I did those who are now my closest friends.

Do you layer? How do your characters develop?

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