It's All About Love

"Where there is love there is life."

~ Gandhi

"The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved."

~ Victor Hugo

"Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedlyand without law, and must be plucked where it is found,and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration."

~ D. H. Lawrence

Everything in life boils down to love. Without love in your life (whether it be spouse/significant other, parents, children, siblings, friends, extended family) nothing else really matters.

You could have millions of dollars, the most powerful job, the most prestigious career...you could be a genious, a movie star, an opera singer...but at the end of the day, when you curl up on your couch to relax, if you don't have someone to sit beside you out of sincere love (any type of love--friendship, romance, familial), you're empty.

Have you ever noticed that about 99% of all songs are about one type of love or another and about 75% of those are about romantic love?

Have you ever noticed that tombstone engravings talk about the loss of a beloved family member--not a CEO or stock broker or real estate agent?

People live life to be loved. Loved makes us happy. There is nothing more important.

And I often remind myself of that fact when I feel embarassed to tell others I write romantic suspense.

Do you find yourself embarassed to admit to writing in the romance genre? Have you gotten nasty remarks or condesending attitudes when you tell them you write in the romance genre?

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Spring Fever

I'm discovering there is a lot of science behind things I took for granted were...well, they just were.

In my post at Romance Worth Killing For on Valentine's Day, I outlined a few interesting tidbits of information on the chemistry of love.

I just finished a class on creating sexual tension and discovered, yet again, that the sex drive, attraction and love are all evolution and chemistry based.

Now, I try to look up a bit of info on spring fever and what do I find? More science!

Here's what the experts say:

• That surge of optimism? Merely the serotonergic response to increased daylight.
  
• The distraction and dreaminess? The neurotransmitter dopamine is responding to light and warmth.


• The "gathered fragrance" of romance in the air? The sensitivity of the olfactory system has been proven to directly relate to pheromones, the essential chemical ingredient of sexual attraction.

This information echoed the article in National Geographics on love chemistry: novelty increases the dopamine and norepinephrine levels in the brain. Dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonine are chemicals that give us that high we experience with new love. Key word there: New. Novelty.

Which got me to wondering...is that why some people have affairs? Why they can get addicted to affairs and have serial affairs or continue an affair even when their logical mind tells them it's not ethical or practical?

It's been proven that people with OCD and people newly in love have similar brain chemical make-ups. Are affairs a combination of novelty and obsession? Of high dopamine and low seratonin? And if so, could someone prone to affairs be phamaceutically treated for such a bent?

I could go off on all kinds of tangents here. Interesting concept, don't you think?

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Vanilla

That's how I'm feeling at the moment...blah, boring.

You may have noticed there's a lot of talk right now on Voice. I must be on the collective blogger's wavelength, because I wrote about it on RWKF last week. And in talking about voice, the topic of originality always comes up. Unique story lines, fresh voice, intruiging perspectives.

Its all been on my mind lately, and I have to say I'm feeling quite...vanilla. I can't find any of that in my past or present works. It may be that I'm too close to it, that I can't see my own growth when I'm working at it everyday. I'm sure that's true to a point. But I also think I'm objective enough to realize my work doesn't have the spark it should.

I'm rewriting Dead Man's Hand, and have found it lacking in every aspect. Why was I writing this story? What was it about this that intruiged me to begin with--enough to get through the first 15 chapters?

My characters won't let me in their heads. They stick their tongues out at me or turn their backs when I try to engage them in coversation. My red herrings are more green than red, my twists more a slight curve than a corkscrew.

Do you ever feel like your work is rather vanilla in comparison to what's out there or what's selling or what agents/editors say they're looking for? When you find your work tending toward the ordinary, what do you do to spice it up?

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Remeber when...

Ah, young love.

I get to relive it all over again vicariously through my daughter. At fourteen, she's prettier than I've ever been, and smarter, sassier, more confident, more athletic more savvy than I was even at twenty. She's also a really great kid.

Sure, we've had some rough spots, but we've come a long way and found a comfortable place together--for now. I know it will change. Everything changes. So, I'm enjoying the innocence of young love while it lasts.

She's liked one boy in particular for about six months (a long time by teenage standards). I've met him, he's cute (tall, dark and cute), shy, polite. He's got a few stumbling blocks--divorced parents, each remarried who care more about their new spouses than about him. But, from what I've heard through my daughter and my daughters friends (and the parent networking of a small town), he's a pretty decent kid, too.

He hasn't admitted to liking her yet. So, we'll see. She knows she's not allowed to "date" until she's sixteen, and even then she's going to have some strict limits, but of course there's little I can do about her liking a boy and him liking her back.

Fortunately, she's incredibly open with me. The minute she gets in the car after school or track practice, she tells me what transpired that day. It's always something small that makes her glow, makes those dimples pop into her cheeks when she smiles. "He texted me first today." "He laughed at my joke." "He ran laps with me at track." "He gave me that smile, you know the one."

God, she's giddy with the infatuation. And I'm telling you, it's infectious.

Yesterday, she said they fought all day. When I asked what that meant, turned out they were playing all day--tripping each other, pushing each other, stealing backpacks. She thought it was all fun and games, I knew it was an excuse to touch each other.

Today, she comes to the car wearing a sweatshirt I don't recognize. "Whose is that?" I ask.

She says, "Wait, I'll show you." She takes off her backback and turns around. His last name is sprawled across the back.

When she turned back to me, her eyes were sparkling bright, deep dimples in her cheeks, straight, white teeth (where she got any of those, I don't know) grinning at me. I could feel her excitement. My own chest got tight, my heart beat a little faster, my body felt lighter.

"Where'd you get that?" I asked. "Or, rather, how did you get it and why did you get it?" And what exactly does it mean?...but I didn't ask that one.

"I stole it," she says with a sly smirk. "It was lying on the bench, so I took it and put it on."

"Doesn't he want it back?" I ask.

"No. He said I could wear it." She does a luscious eye roll. "And it smells so good. It smells like him. I've been getting high from the smell of it all afternoon."

Oh. My. God. She is so damn cute.

I laugh. "He owns you now, girl. He's got his name plastered across your back."

"Uh-uh. No way. I own him."

Sigh. I wish I had that kind of self-assurance when I was 14. Or 20. Or 30. At least I have it now.

As romance writers, we could learn a lot by observing and reliving those first delicious stages of interest, attraction, infatuation and love.

What do you remember (or relive via children) about young love?

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Cookies are in!!

Girl Scout cookies are here! An my garage is FILLED with them. 111 CASES to be exact.

From Jan - March, I am officially, the Cookie Nazi! (A.K.A. Cookie mom.)

And I was going to start back on my healthy eating and excercise road on Monday! My goal is to lose the remaining 24 pounds I'd like to lose (lost 26 already) before Nationals in July. And now -- those DANG cookies are calling to me from the garage.

The new flavor this year is named Lemonades. Oh. My. God. Shortbread cookies with vanilla-lemon icing. They are to die for (and I'm not even a big lemon fan).

Here's a complete list:

• Caramel deLights: coconut, caramel and chocolate
• Shortbread: traditional shortbread recipe
• Thanks-A-Lot: shortbread with chocolate
• Thin Mints: Chocolate mint wafer with chocolate coating
• Peanut Butter Patties: peanut butter wafer with creammy filling and chocolate coating
• Peanut Butter Sandwich: peanut butter wafers with creamy peanut butter-flavored filling
• Cartwheels: Oatmeal and cinnamon--low-fat, too.
• Lemonades: Described above.

This is soooo not good.

What IS good is that this year the Girl Scouts have put together a donation program. If you'd like to donate cookies to the U.S. Military troops overseas, you can pay the regular $4 a box and GS will ship the cookies.

The donation is tax deductable when you buy for troops (as opposed to buying for yourself) so, it's a great thing.

You should buy from those girls you'll be seeing stationed outside your supermarkets and drug stores, etc. Or, you could buy through me and pay via Paypal. I'll even kick in the deduction Paypal takes for the transaction, and mail you the deducation form. If you live somewhere where you don't have access to these delicacies and don't mind paying the shipping, I'll send them to you also.

E-mail me at ultraswan @ hotmail . com (without spaces, of course) if you're interested.

Remember - almost $1 per box goes directly to the local girl scout troop, so support your neighborhood girls!

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Talk To Me

Choosing what to blog about it always a little tricky. You want to be relatively free to do your own thing...it is your blog after all, but you'd like it to be entertaining, informative, something others will want to come back again and again to read.

So...if you could design the perfect blog--your favorite, the one you check in with everyday to see what's new...what would it have?

~~Long, descriptive posts or short blurbs?
~~Posts everyday or every other or once a week or ??
~~Information or fluff?
~~Serious or funny?
~~Professional or personal?
~~Conservative or wacky?

Here's my take on it...

• I come to the web primarily for information.


• I visit blogs for communication and information.


• I don't mind long posts if they stay on topic and offer something valuable (information, a different point of view, etc.).


• I'm fine with short posts if they have substance. If there's no substance and it's just a "can't-chat-now" blog, then I don't think it's worth posting.


• I don't mind personal talk unless it's about washing the car or walking the dog -- that I don't want to know about.


• I like blogs that offer something others don't, either a unique point of view or information I don't get elsewhere.


• Sometimes I choose to read a blog because I like the person who writes it--they're warm, personable, responsive, and we have things in common.


• And I like blogs that are updated every day or every other day. Sometimes everyday is a bit too much and I feel like I'm always falling behind. But after a coupld days of nothing new, my return visits to that blog slow.

How about you?

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Lazy Saturday

I haven't had one in...I seriously don't know when (and I'm truly not just saying that).

• The friend I spend most of my time with went away fro the weekend with her family.
• DD #2 has a by on her basketball schedule.
• DD #1 (aka the social butterfly) is off at a friend's house for the night.
• I sent off two bracelets that had been on order.
• I paid the bills.
• DH is home -- getting used to his new schedule, but that's a whole different post -- and he cleaned the house (well, the major stuff).

O.M.G. I'm not pressed for anything! What am I going to do with myself?

Write...right? That's really the only right answer. And, yes. I should. So, why is it that when you actually have time and space and silence to write, you don't want to?

I did write for three hours this morning. I've gone to the grocery store, surfed the internet, went to a movie, now I'm blogging. Um...I'm running out of ideas and it's only 5pm. I should excercise or just relax. I could oranize or do laundry or finish my friend's scarf. But I don't wanna do any of that.

I'm much more productive when I'm busy. Giving me downtime is giving me a license to do nothing-just till and toil until the time is gone and I'm mad at myself for wasting it. (I think there's some psychological problem in there somewhere.)

Anyway, in my surfing, I found a great blog by agent Susannah Taylor over at Magical Musings. Definitely worth reading.

Also, a week or so ago, there was a hilarious blog on Paperback Writer that I've been meaning to link to. Again -- worth the read.

When you find yourself with these unexpected down-time blurps, what do you do with yourself? Better yet, what do you avoid doing?

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What Color Is Your Aura?

Your Aura is Blue

Your Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart. You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone. Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satistifed. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor.

What Color Is Your Aura?

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Karma

I'm a big believer. I believe what goes around comes around. I believe (for the most part) people treat you the way you treat them. I believe things happen for a reason.

Since I'm taking Edie and Elisabeth's advice and stepping away from Dead Man's Hand for a while, I'm doing a couple of things to fill those voids when I would normally work on my wip. First, I'm reviewing a new plotting method which I'll talk a little more about tomorrow on Romance Worth Killing For. Two, I'm reading Kill the Messenger by Tami Hoag.

I listened to KTM on CD about 6-8months ago. Loved it. Fast-paced. Action. Killer characters. Complicated plot. Sub-plots galore. Now, I'm reading it, trying to pick up craft tips, pacing how-to's, etc.

I have A LOT of books in my TBR file -- both fiction and craft books. But I picked up KTM. And I've decided, now that I'm on page 103, chapter 14, that I was drawn to that book for a reason. The protagonish is a loner, afraid of the police with a childhood history that makes him suspicious and distrustful--MY HEROINE in DMH! The secondary protagonist (or maybe part-protagonist, part-antagonist) is the detective involved in a murder case the protagonist is suspected of committing. He's on a quest to find that high-profile case that will redeem him in the eyes of his coworkers and himself after screwing up something fierce several months before and getting demoted--MY HERO in DMH!

Not exactly, of course. Quite a list of disimilarities when reviewed side by side, but the characters in KTM have already shown me pieces of what is missing in my characters in DMH. The KTM plot is showing me ways to deepen threads in DMH -- not the plotline itself, but the way Hoag weaves the plotline in.

Yep. It's karma. I picked up this book for a reason. Divine intervention to kick my ass and say 'Don't even think about quitting!'

Not that I had, but it's nice to get an ass-kicking now and then.

Have you ever needed a little kick to get restarted?

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Maybe...not

I had planned on finishing Dead Man's Hand, and then revising. Had gotten valuable advice on the rough spots I was worried about. Had the plot line smoothed out. Thought I was ready to go.

But then, after reviewing chapters 1-3, I found myself sitting there, staring at my computer screen...numb. Bored.

The characters were utterly flat and, my biggest pet peeve, inconsistent. The plot was blasé. The transitions rougher than rough.

All fixable, no doubt about it. I am confident that I have the knowledge and skill to make those changes. My biggest problem was (and still is)...I had no desire to make them.

I sat there with a strange taste in my mouth and a flicker of anxiety in my chest.

When was the last time I didn't want to write? Sure, revisions are no fun, and that's how I've been spending my time for about the last year, but I've always wanted to write. I've always had the drive to make those changes.

I found myself wondering...when did the fun go out of writing? What was it about this story that spurred me to write 2/3 of it last year? Cause I sure as hell don't see it now.

So, today, I took a step back and considered...what do I really want to write about? What gives me that spark and compels me to put fingers to keyboard? What story lives inside me, fighting to get out?

Sadly, I couldn't answer. Because I don't feel it.

Fortunately, this funk isn't scaring me as it once would have. I'm not the least bit worried I'll lose my momentum and stop writing, which used to be one of my greatest fears.

Instead, I've decided to spend the time developing my own forms--character outlines, GMC graphs, plotting worksheets. I know--this frightens many of you pantsters, but they are what keep me--a die hard plotter--calm. And creating customized planning tools have been on my to-do list for a long time. Believe it or not, I'm actually looking forward to that.

Have you ever felt this malaise--either for a story or for writing in general? What happened? How did it play out? How did you handle it?

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Boy, oh boy...

Can blogging suck you in or what?

Now that I'm taking a little break after revisions so consuming the thought of even looking at a red pen makes me shudder, I have a lot more time to get out on the internet and check out the blogs.

OMG. Every writer has a blog. Many have two blogs (as I do), or more!

I could spend all day reading and responding to blogs. The sense of community within the realm of romance writers is phenomenal. Everyone sharing their tips, tricks, struggles, successes. What a fantastic setting to gain inspiration and support!!

Unfortunately, I dont' have all day to surf. And I don't know anyone else who does either.

So, tell me, what blogs do you visit and why? How do you choose what blogs you respond to, how often you post on your own blog, and what are you trying to achieve with your blog?

Tess Gerritsen recently posted on her blog that she finds it cathartic. Which I totally understand, and one of the reasons I started my personal blog back up.

I stopped my personal blog about a year ago when we started Romance Worth Killing For. I couldn't see writing two blogs. I mean, I need time to write novels, oh, and feed my children. They get grouchy. Jeez. But now, I find that I have more to say on both personal and professional levels. RWKF is my professional, writing craft blog. My personal blog is more eclectic, containing more intimate thoughts on writing and the writing life and life in general.

Because I have to limit my surfing time, I have several blogs I frequent, which are linked --> that way **nodding to the right** on the side bar.

Share some special blogs you think we need to know about, ones that are worth giving up our valuable free time to visit.

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Wow...

I'm finally done.

Hiding In Plain Sight has been polished, formatted and emailed to my agent, Nahvae.

Last week, I finished MAJOR revisions to Safe In Enemy Arms and sent the printed ms to her in New York.

**Pause** **Crickets chirping** **Frogs blurping**

Now what?

Yeah, that's about as long a break as I can manage. Although I'm not entirely sure where I'm going next. I think I'm headed toward finishing Dead Man's Hand. But it needs some heavy plotting refinement before I pick up at chapter 20 and finish it. And to get the plot right, I'm going to have to do some research.

So, while I'm reading books, searching the internet, watching documentaries on the subject of gambling, I'm going to focus a little closer to home and take care of a lot of things I've been neglecting here in favor of getting revisions out, like...laundry. And grocery shopping. And cooking. And cleaning.

Yep. Guess I've got enough to keep me busy for a while. But don't worry. Just because I'm not actively writing doesn't mean I'll be talking about diswasher detergent and the lastest sale on pork round. Come back and visit--I've always got something writing related on my mind.

What do you do between projects?

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Ever wish you could sew your mouth shut...?

I do, although in this case I wish I could tie my fingers together instead.

I made a comment on a fellow author's blog -- one I believe in, but one that was not so complimentary to a very well-known, well-loved author. Not that it would make a wit of difference to that author, of course. I'm non-existent in their world. Still, I couldn't shake the feeling of shame.

I try to be supportive and positive and thoughtful. Especially to upcoming writers. I give time to answer questions, offer advice and craft help, critique others' work, judge contests. Yet, I feel like all that good will has been wiped away by my one careless comment.

**Sigh**

I feel really lousy about it. Disappointed in myself, really. Regretful toward the author I infected with my negativity, sorry toward the community that had to be subjected to it.

In the big scheme, it was less than a blip on the radar. In my world, it was a wake-up call.

Have you ever said something you wish you could take back? Made a comment that seemed innocuous at the time but in retrospect you realized it could be taken wrong?

And, sometimes, I'm sorry just doesn't cut it. The words, the attitude is out there. Can't take it back.

I guess I'll just have to work extra hard to get my karma back in line.

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