Progress...and a photo
I actually made some progress on my outline. Took a fews steps back and then a few more forward and ended up in the black.
Since I have so little to say...thought I'd share a photo:
It's a mess...officially
This is what my plot looks like right about now. Two cores with shaggy connections, starts with no stops, leads with no direction, knots, displacement, dead ends...
Boy, oh boy, have I made a mess out of this ms. The most obvious reason is because of a complicated plot. Another would be that I'm attempting a storytelling format I haven't tried before, screwing with the linear timeline format I typically use. Oh, and then there's real life constantly breaking my train of thought--DH, kids, bills, rejections, and that four letter word that starts with a W and ends with a K.
So, I suppose it's time to step back and maybe create a **dreaded** outline so I can keep track of what's happening where and what I want to happen as I move forward. I hate to take time out to do that, especially since the writing has already been so sluggish, but if I don't, I may never get past this point.
Frustrating. (See post: Frustration Abounds for more frustrating circumstances)
Grrrrrrrrrr....
Stupid story. It's jumping all over the friggin' place. Can't keep anything straight. I feel like grabbing my characters by the throat, shaking the jitters out of them and screaming, "Just tell me what the fuck happens already!!"
And on a happier note...a photo of the day...
Starfish in the tidepools at Montana de Oro, Los Osos
I have a good excuse...
Really. I do.
I've been trying to send queries. It's an incredibly time consuming project.
- Locate the agent
- Figure out if they're accepting queries
- Figure out which type they are accepting: email and/or regular mail
- Figure out what they want submitted -- they're all different
- Get their contact information right
- Track the process so I know who, where and when I sent the darn thing
The list goes on.
I've been stuck at the collecting data stage. Today, my one day off this week, I committed to sending out at least five queries. I had planned on printing out the packages according to each agent's requirements and then clean the house while they were printing.
Great in theory, right?
Would have been, except since the last time I looked most of the agents now take equeries. Some require them.
Sure, okay. All the better, right?
Only if you have a decent email editor. Try cutting and pasting three freaking chapters of a manuscript into hotmail and keeping it formatted -- just shoot me know. Seriously.
Over the past few days I've spent hours upon hours inside Microsoft Outlook trying to get it configured to send and receive from my website - joanswan.com. (Prior to that I had spent hours and hours inside hotmail trying to get things formatted.) I had Outlook configured at one point, but sometime between the last time I used it and now (maybe a year) it stopped working. While I was trying to fix it, the whole damn program stopped working. On both my desktop and my laptop.
Is the universe trying to tell me something?
Well, screw you, universe! I went out and bought a new version of Microsoft Office 2007. Ebay, of course, because I rarely buy anything anywhere else now-a-days. (Was even looking at cars on ebay, but didn't end up buying there - that's a whole other story.)
So...I will now wait for my software to come and effectively put off sending out those queries for another, oh, week or so, since that's about when I'll be home again.
See, I told you I had a good excuse!
Read more...Photo of the day
Just one of the many that keeps me preoccupied when I need to be writing...
Sunset on a beach in Los Cabos, near Cabo San Lucas.Click for full size image.
Issues...
I suppose everyone has them in one form or another. I have lots of them. My question is...if I know what my issues are, and I know how to fix them, why don't I? Why do I continue to use them as a crutch?
A few days ago I wrote about procrastination. Yes, I know I do it. In fact, at the risk of sounding cocky, I'm damn good at it.
What have I been doing with my evenings after my long, strenuous days at work when I should be writing? I've been optimizing my photos and submitting them to stock photography websites.
Why, why, why do I do this when I know I need to be writing? Is it because I really don't like writing? Is it because I don't like this manuscript? Is it because I don't want to face the hardship of untying the tedious knots in this work?
I don't know. What I do know is that it's much easier to come home after a long day and do something mindless, like upload photos to the web than dig into my tortured hero's screwed up head and try to straighten the idiot out.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
But...I have put my stock photography junk to rest and will open my wip to at least look at it and see if I can unravel even a tiny knot -- the first step in detangling the bigger ones.
Trouble with the internal editor
I just can't seem to turn it off. I can't even tune it out. And it's killing my writing.
Too slow. Too slow. Too slow.
It won't shut up!
Yawn! Come on, when is something exciting going to happen?
As soon as the manuscript comes to mind, that stupid little voice pipes up.
If they (agents) think your last one was too slow, this one is like dragging a brick through cement.
I've tried writing fresh, adding plot elements, cutting, rewriting.
You'll never get an agent off this.
And now, I avoid the entire story -- writing about it, thinking about it, plotting it.
It'll never sell.
What's a girl to do??
Frustration Abounds
I went through my regular routine of writing this morning with the solid intent of making headway in the troublesome manuscript. Did more browsing than writing. And the browsing I did didn't encourge any significant writing. Frustrating.
I hit the road to take some photos. Figured that would distract me. The light was too strong and the photos were difficult. Frustrating.
When I came home and looked at my photos, maybe three out of a hundred had potential. Frustrating.
I went about scheduling my next procrastination technique--a quilting class I've been wanting to take. Starts tonight. I'm on call at the hospital. So, if I take the class, I risk getting called out in the middle of it. Frustrating.
And, just to top things off, I paid the bills. Always frustrating.
Just that type of day.
On the plus side, I've been productive.
Procrastination vs. Downtime
I'm reading a great book right now: Writing From the Inside Out by Dennis Palumbo.
He gave a seminar at our local writer's conference last year. He is a writer and a therapist...who counsels writers. Kinda ironic. But good, in this case, because he totally GETS where we writers are coming from.
Anyway, I was just reading his chapter on procrastination, and he makes some important points.
- Downtime is an absolutely essential part of the writing life
- Downtime allows the subconscious to work
- Non-writers, i.e. spouses, friends, family members, don't understand the difference between procrastination and downtime--it all looks the same to them
Writers do, however, know the difference. They may subconsciously lie to themselves because they are in avoidance mode --I would know because I do this quite well. And while they may also tell themselves the issue is with a particular work, more often procrastination results from the inner conflicts that revolve around the writing itself.
Currently, the later is the case with me. During my recent photography course, I got the idea of submitting my photos to stock photography sites. I justified it to myself with the lure of posibility--gaining a monetary return on my investment of product, time and educational pursuits. I can be very convincing, even when my subconsious knows exactly why I'm doing it.
But, this time around, my subconsious didn't roll her eyes, wave her hand and sit back down in the rocking chair to wait it out. No. She stood up, stomped her foot, shook her head and said, "You're not going to get away with that shit again!"
So, while I am interested in pursuing the stock photography, or doing something with my photography, at some point, I realize that the reason I'm focused in on it *now* is because I'm in a low spot where my writing is concerned.
My most recently completed manuscript has been racking up the rejection letters. I'm looking at an exhaustive list of additional agencies/agents to which I *should"* submit my work, which entails mountains of research, a fistful of money in the form of ink and stamps, not to mention a shitload of time. In addition to all those weights, after years of rejections, in the back of my mind some one's whispering...why? You're just going to get rejected.
I am also struggling with my current manuscript. It's not flowing. My characters are pissy. The plot is a mess. My villain is completely schizophrenic -- melting with white hot anger one minute, distracted and wimpy the next.
Given the circumstances, I know that my burning interest in stock photography is...yes, PROCRASTINATION.
Now, I could make myself believe it is a form of productive "goofing off". I could say that taking pictures stokes my creativity, which it does. Or that I get a different view of the world through the camera lens, which I do. And that varied perspective will ultimately aid me in my writing, which it probably will.
But deep down, I know I'm avoiding my writing because of the tough issues I have to face, namely additional rejection of my completed work and fear of failure of my current work.
Doesn't mean I have to stuff my other hobbies into the closet, just means I have to scale back and remember why I'm doing what I'm doing.
Cognisant. That's where I have to stay. Focused on the prize.
Read more...Agents
Whoo-wee are there a lot of new players out there in the field!
Just went back out to Agent Query for the first time since I made the rounds with SAFE, maybe a year ago (man, has it been that long? I'm pathetic), and only half the names were familiar to me. After doing this a number of times over the years, I know the agencies and the names.
And that's another thing that I've noticed -- not only new agents, but new agencies. I see where agents have split off from some agencies and gone into partnership with another to create their own agency. Some are just brand new to the romance game (or just brand new period).
So, now, after going through all 188 names of agents who represent romance, and culling through each to see if they are currently accepting queries, I will now have to research each one individually so I can cater to their individual desires...
Query only
Query and synopsis (1 page or 2 page or...)
First five pages (or 10 pages or 15 pages or...), 1 page synopsis, query...
First chapter (or two), 3 page synopsis, author bio...
First three chapters, 10 page synopsis, query, author biography, marketing plan...
And the variations on a theme go on, and on, and on...
I'd better get to Office Max and pick up a few ink cartridges...cause a lot of these guys still don't accept E-queries.
Better Late Than Never...
...or so they say.
Look at that -- a little over a year since I last posted. Where does the time go?
What in the hell have I been doing? Thanks for asking.
Working. Writing. And everything else that falls in between--eating, sleeping, cleaning, parenting...you know the drill.
Most recently, I've been working on revamping the website with updated graphics and fresh content. (Purely a procrastination technique.)
I'm submitting my most recently completed and revised manuscript, FACING THE FIRE, to agents at the moment and really should have a decent, current site up and running in case someone decides to look at it. (Hahahahahah... eh-hem...)
As I was saying... Yeah, the site, and I'm also going to work on a little consistency keeping my blog dialogue going--more for myself than anyone, because I doubt more than two other people read this.
For those two of you -- I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
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